So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Randomize
