Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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