it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
