Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
