There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
