i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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