Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
