i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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