That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
