every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize