no. you can't hotbox the world.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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