Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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