chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
