On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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