So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
