I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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