My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
