My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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