i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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