i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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