Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
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I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
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So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Still dying that you shit outside
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.