walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
