There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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