so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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