haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
