You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
