no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
