I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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