I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize