i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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