Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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