I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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