A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i came on her dog
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
