I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
