i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you didnt know i had herpes?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
