i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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