I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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