Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
