youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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