Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
