My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
