I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
