no. you can't hotbox the world.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
