She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
