I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
