i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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