It's Friday. Sex?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have aggressive nipples.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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