Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
These tits shall not be calmed
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
