So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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