you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring