How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes