I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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