windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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