No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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