She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
either way he was missing a nipple.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
