What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I am midnight drunk by noon
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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