is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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