ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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