screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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